Today probably should have been the most stressful day in years. Yesterday I said goodbye to my safe salaried job and I woke up this morning, a bit woolly in the brain, dry in the mouth and very much self-employed.
This should be really scary, shouldn’t it? But today was a strangely calm, peaceful experience. I mean peace as in internal peace, not actual peace because I had three kids, two crazy animals and one husband all at home with me, mainly in one room, thanks to the snow.
The reason for my ridiculous sense of calm, I think, and without trying to sound like too much of a tosser, was because I could finally pull all of my ‘selves’ into one self.
The writing self, the community self, the consulting self, the freelancing self, the mum. Rather than disparate personalities and activities across the web, I’ve now got my own space to be just me, with all the various strands of my complicated timetable pulled together.
Having lots of different sides and juggling them all in different corners must be a little like having an affair. Maybe it’s exciting at the start (don’t worry moralists, I wouldn’t know) but after a while I expect it’s plain exhausting and emotionally draining.
This is why facebook is so enduring to the general public (i.e. not the feverish early adopters who are already wrestling with new tech toys most people are yet to dream of).
It’s a space for school friends, current friends, stored photos, archived messages, work colleagues (for some people anyway) and birthday reminders. So even when the privacy changes get people jumping about and the homepage layout is changed and the thicko from your old school who writes in txtspk goes into a meltdown in her sweary statuses, it endures. You still use it.
Everyone needs a place to be at one, I guess.
Simon
2 years ago
Firstly, congratulations!
Secondly, I suppose to some extent it depends on the kind of person you are. If you are a “work to live” person, you probably want to keep your personal stuff separate from your work persona. And there are different levels of access I might be willing to share with certain people – the equivalent of level x security clearance in 24. For instance, my social graph is far from joined up – aside from different privacy setting for different groups in Facebook I also have a couple of personal blogs/profiles that only my friends know about, and don’t link up to any of my more public profiles. Stowe Boyd calls it a public/private/secret split, and I’m sort of with him.
But different strokes for different folks, and the greatest part of this is that we have the power to customise precisely how “one” we become
Holly Seddon
2 years ago
Hi Simon,
You make a good point, for some people it’s important to be able to separate their various selves. I tend to use facebook for entirely informal relationships (no colleagues, no clients) so that I can let my hair down a bit more. LinkedIn I use entirely professionally and Twitter is a combination of lifecasting (30-40%) and information sharing, networking (for want of a better word), breaking news monitoring and access to new ideas.
I love your final line, and I agree.
Holly
Alison Michalk
2 years ago
Congratulations Holly, it’s a brave (but wise!) move and no doubt you have a great year ahead of you.
I can very much relate to the concept of being ‘one’ and have certainly felt closer to it in my prior years of being self-employed.
I think the concept of work/life integration rather than balance (as discrete entities) becomes more relevant when you’re a working Mum/Mom. Self-employment certainly offers more flexibility to juggle it all. (I have #2 due in May so my brain’s swimming with the logistics!)
Wishing you the best and looking forward to hearing about your projects.
Holly
2 years ago
Thank you for your comment, Alison! And congratulations on your second baby! The logistics certainly ramp up the more you have, don’t they… I think Elliot (my third) really was the tipping point that made a traditional work set-up almost impossible… I then compounded it by getting am attention-seeking dog?!
Anyway, congratulations again!